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Posts Tagged ‘Sundance Theaters’

Forget G, PG, PG-13, even XXX. Forget it. I need an M for Mom rating.

My Mom-Rated system would be as follows:

MA (Mom Acceptable): This rating would include romantic comedies, coming-of-age stories, everything Tom Hanks has ever made, and would be epitomized by the film Homeward Bound.

MB (Mom Beware): This rating would include most sci-fi, horror, and all the independent films that think it’s interesting to have a child or young adult drown, fall down a flight of stairs, or kill themselves in the course of the film.  Obviously, anything by Quentin Tarantino gets an the MB rating.

MC (Mom Caution): This rating would include films that cross the boundary into Mom-horror-moments, like the wonderful but sad film My Girl. Basically, it would be a rating that says, “look, it’s a good movie, but bring your tissues, and forget about seeing it when you’re pregnant or PMS.”

My Mom-Rating System (patent pending) was inspired by a horror-of-a-date-night where we went to see the highly touted, Sundance-film festival winner Animal Kingdom. This film is about the worst film a new mom could possibly see. SPOILER ALERT! It included the following:

Mom overdosing on heroin while son looked on

Father of new baby being blown away by corrupt police

Teen daughter being forcibly injected with heroin and then being smothered

Grandmother hiring killer to off her grandson

Seriously? This is the film that’s garnered such great reviews? I don’t care what Kingdom we all come from; there’s no way I inhabit the same one as these people.

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