Posts Tagged ‘mom guilt’

When I was a tweener, my Mom used to buy a whole mess of Estee Lauder products and get a free-gift-with-purchase which she would then hand to me. The first time she did this, I looked up at her and said, “when I’m a Mom, I’m keeping all the good free stuff I get.” She sighed and said, “oh honey, I’ve gotten a lot of free stuff. I don’t mind giving it to you.” “Well I will,” I said. “I’ll mind.” “You’ll be surprised,” she said.

But no, no. I’m not surprised. I am a selfish person, and I will NOT be sharing my gifts-with-purchase with my future tweener. She’s on her own. I’m sure she’ll have birthday money or something. Is this wrong? I say no–this is so much better than the way my mom did it.

My mother never had a moment of selfish.

Me: “I feel like a cookie.” Mom: “I’ll make you a batch.”

Me: “I hate asparagus.” Mom: “I’ll remember that forever” (and ever, and ever).

Me: “I want all the good stuff you have including those diamond earrings and your wedding ring.” Mom: “You can have everything but the ring. You’ll get that when I die.” Me: “Are you going to die soon, Mom?”

You know what happened to me, the daughter of an unselfish person? I became a spoiled brat who will keep her gift-with-purchase even if she never uses any of the items in it and her tweener is in desperate need of coral lip balm. And, you know what’s much worse, I became a constant guilt evader because in fact unselfish mothers = martyrs.

So my message for today is be selfish. Go ahead and eat all the cookies yourself! Watch that extra episode of True Blood instead of doing the dishes. And for heavens sake, buy yourself something expensive or endangered or both.


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