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Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

A Bump on the Head

My husband playing with my little girl always makes me think of Skippyjon Jones. If you haven’t read the Skippyjon Jones books, I recommend them. Skippyjon likes to bounce on his big-boy bed, and one in ten times he lands on his head. When my husband plays with my daughter, one in three times she lands on her head.

Why are men such nincompoops when it comes to safety?  I have seen a father pushing his little girl in a jogging stroller while she was standing up. Seriously? What is wrong with their brains?

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My Mother’s Day card from my daughter:

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!

Thank you for being my Mommy. The prettiest Mommy in the world. I like being with you. You are fun. You make pretty things. You sing to me. You have good milk. We should be friends forever. Love, Kara.”

Clever baby! (Clever Husband!)

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When your husband does something reprehensible (such as stay out until 2 a.m. with the boys) you should punish him. Here’s how:

Eat lots of vegetables. Then make him change every pooey diaper for the next two months.

Make him give the smack-in-the-middle-of-the-night feeding.

Hotwire his Tivo to make it record old episodes of Golden Girls instead of Sports Center. Claim to not know how that thing works.

When the baby begins crying, give him or her over to husband and claim to need the bathroom (it’s probably true anyhow). Lock yourself in there for at least a half hour.

Suggest to his mother that her son come visit her with the baby soon; without you. So they can have some special mother-son time together.

Insist that you watch your favorite T.V. shows in the precious few T.V. minutes you have each week. Your favorite T.V. show should probably be Grey’s Anatomy.

Schedule girls night out to coincide with his favorite sporting event… such as Monday Night Football. Or the World Cup.

Any other ideas…???

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Responsibility

In my mother’s time, men had less responsibility for the baby. In fact, my mother said she wasn’t sure my dad changed a single diaper. He says this is not true, but that he did everything he could to disappear when the diaper changing began.

I am lucky to have a husband who does part of the work with our daughter. I say part because it’s not even close to fifty percent. However, he does try to get home in time to feed her an evening meal. He also feeds her a middle-of-the-night meal while I pump milk.

So in general, I feel OK about the distribution of caretaking. That’s why I’m having a hard time with how angry I should/should not be about his latest indiscretion: staying out with the guys on a Saturday night until 2 a.m. I feel pretty angry. I guess the question is: how long should he suffer my wrath?

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